Heart disease is the number one killer in America. You're looking sharp. "I aorta tell you how much I love you." 4. 3. When you do something nice for someone: "That's a bone-us.". So, if you just wink at me, I will wenchkebach! I aorta told you yesterday. by Team Scary Mommy. Of course, you need to screw a light bulb. Never trust stairs— they're always up to something. Lust for Lime - Igneous Pop. He's stable and was making dad jokes all the way to the hospital. There was so mush-room and emptiness in my heart until you came around and filled it. I'm so hoppy. I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point. Hope your birthday is on point. ︎ 7 ︎ ︎ u/VERBERD ︎ May 27 2021 A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend." The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better." "Thanks Dad," the son says. So, here's a list of one of the funniest jokes about the heart: 1. "Are you kidney-ing me?" exclaimed the man who was advised to get an x-ray of his left kidney. Funny Doodles. Forget about the present, I didn't get you one. Why did Gary send pictures of his heart X-ray to his girlfriend every month? A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. "You hold the woo-key to my heart." 5. upvote downvote report. Grandpa: "Don't scare me, I'm a heart patient." "If you scare me, I'll never talk to you again." When it came to tilling his garden by hand, he put a lot of heart into it. The flock of doves decided to stage a coo. When you don't want to do something: "I'm bone tired!". I want to be cremated as it is my last hope for a smoking hot body. But, that doesn't mean the message can't be funny. 8. 9. I'm ready to take it from "cacti" to "cactus.". This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense." The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings." "Don't make such a big deal out of this . Corny Love Puns. If you aren't confident about one of these jokes, don't use it. Cactus Puns. Hunting Trip Joke. Q. Cute Puns. Find this Pin and more on Words For Valentine's Day by AllWording.com. 4. This cool and funny football player and football coachesdesign is just perfect for all american football players, fans, referees and team or club members who love their sport and equipment. Some men go on a hunting trip and separate into pairs. A famous heart specialist doctor died and everyone was gathered at his funeral. Sand is an often-overlooked yet important part of our . Enjoy reading these popsicle puns on a hot day, guaranteed to be cooler than your refrigerator. Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream… and another drink. We also have lots of other funny jokes categories so make sure so check those as well. You improve with wine. A huge heart, covered in flowers, stood behind the casket during the service. Not to brag, but my sandcastle faces the beach. Criminal Pick-Up Line: Let's commit the perfect crime. magician from the future wiki tang ming. A house divided against itself cannot sand. Doctor: Don't be nervous, David. A: "I love you with all my art." Q: Why is Valentine's Day a great day for a party? Following is our collection of funny Cardiac jokes. The jokes for Valentine's Day on this page are great for parents, teachers, coaches, friends, family and kids of all ages. 73 Skeleton Jokes And Puns That Are Super Humerus. It's based on a popular line from the Star Wars movies, "May the force be with you" and that May 4 is actually Star Wars day! You make my heart malt. Sorry! Motivacional Quotes . Fact 8: You just checked it. To the guy who . Here are 5 clever short puns: 30. I'll never go bacon your heart. Every time I see my beautiful girlfriend, my heart just beet faster. Fact 3: You just tried it. Top 10 of the Funniest Heart Attack Jokes and Puns A priest has a heart attack, and is rushed to the hospital. You can either use them literally, or toss them in when the topic of conversation shifts to love and relationships (it always does). Take these clever puns for example. Report at a scam and speak to a recovery consultant for free. Popsicle Related Puns Pop culture. These funny heart puns are world beating, everyone will love them! It doesn't give in to pier pressure. upvote downvote report. "I wanna give you a hearty hug on Valentine's Day." 6. April 23, 2021. | Heart Humor | Head Jokes, Noggin Puns | Chest Jokes, Breat Puns | Belly Laughs, Gut Humor |. See more ideas about jokes, puns jokes, puns. A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together." "Everyone's a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. There are a cha-million reasons why I am still in love with you. 13. Pop quiz - A little . Explore. What do your organs do on your birthday? Girl: (With tears in her eyes ) Omg. May 13, 2018 - Explore Niki K's board "Heart puns" on Pinterest. Choose puns that you're comfortable with and be confident in the delivery. 23. (Unsplash) 6. "I won't go bacon your heart.". Love is in the eye of the bee-holder. When the pastor finished with the sermon and eulogy, and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart opened, the coffin rolled inside and the heart closed. Best Heart Puns 1. 5. 7. What did the biologist wear to impress his date? You're going to love them and so will whoever you tell them to. heart attack jokes one liners. Puns Jokes. 10. It gets easier, not heart-er. You're my heartthrob. Funny and Clever Pun examples. Boy: I love you too. I hereby place you under cardiac arrest. Bumble gum is my favorite type of candy. 3. 45 Funny Heart Puns & Jokes That Will Pump You Up! A cardiac surgeon is picking up his Bentley from an engine repair. The beautiful heart then closed, sealing the doctor inside, forever. I know my boyfriend plans about the future because he always buys an extra case of beer. Photo/Shutterstock. 2. Pun messages and greeting cards are an easy way to show your crush, husband-wife, girlfriend, or boyfriend your affections, and funny bone A list of cute and clever heart puns for Valentine's Day or any time. Grammar: the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit. I mean you no ham. 33. Forget about the future, you can't predict it. I don't think you should be happy. The Fandom Shop is bringing you great deals on lots of Unique Humorous Football Funny Jokes Birthday Puns Purses & Totes including Football Heart Beating - Cool Funny Coaches Team Sayings Tote Bag. You have to have this operation, before you have a change of heart! To promote our copywriting services, we launched the #MondayPunday social media series. 1. Valentine's Day jokes, puns, and riddles are appropriate on a fun and flirty holiday. Time flies like an arrow. My boyfriend's idea about honesty in our relationship is him telling me his real name. Swipe left for more. . Medical Puns Collection - 61 and counting. . 'Hi cutie, here's a cup of hot tea because, well… you're a hottie.'. Doodle Drawings. He is Heavy, He's my Boulder - The Quarries. Wine improves with age. I have a heart-on for you. Shawn Blend-es. He wakes up as he's being rushed through the hospital on a gurney by two nurses. Great for kids and adults. Cheese to all social media aficionadoughs. It's got fuel injectors like veins, an oil pump like an aorta, and pistons . There are a few dirty jokes, but most food puns for kids are hilarious to kids! Here is a hot pizza pie. The Best 42 Cardiac Jokes. The next day, Mr. Williams was walking down the hall with his Private Part hanging out of his pajamas. . You've stolen my heart. Check out these 10 un-bee-lievable bee puns! One-fifth of people are just too tense! asks the disoriented priest. I have no… 80+ Deliciously Funny Ham Puns And JokesRead more We collected the funniest puns and created custom single-line graphics for each one. Humorous word play that makes you roll your eyes, sigh, and think that's so bad it's good. My aunt has the heart of a lion. There is no better time than now to make a change before it's too late. A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He was placed under cardiac arrest. I know this can be a bit cheesy, but you will always have a big pizza my heart. 30. When you are getting ready to eat: "Bone Appetit!". Your momma is so fat.. That she really needs to make an immediate lifestyle change. Pin for later: 8. When you feel like acting crazy: "Bone to be wild!". It's a Hard Rock Life - Jay Z (inc) Don't Quarry Be Happy - Rocky McFerrin. You can keep a few of them in your back pocket, ready to use them to impress someone or cheer someone up. Science Jokes. 9. The police caught the heart thief. Bee Pun - It'll Bee Okay Artwork By Sarah Garrett At Redbubble. From classy to sassy, these are the puns that can make anyone laugh (or roll their eyes at least). These surgery funny medical puns can make it a bit more lighthearted. Corny love jokes are no different. Beer pressure. A healthy sleep not only makes your life longer, but also shortens the workday. You prickle my fancy. Sharing a laugh with your loved one is a great way to kick the day off and keep things light. 8. An airline company lost a man's luggage, so he decided to sue them. 2. No says one of the nurses. 32. My friend got me half a bouquet and a box of 20 chocolates with only ten of them left: it really was a half-hearted effort! Pretty fly for a cacti. Punny Puns. Funny heart puns and jokes never get old. Be sure to share it on insta-ham or something. If you are on the same page then this complete collection of puns is exactly what you are looking for. We will Rock You - Heavy Mercury. So, without further ado, here are our best Valentine's Day puns, featuring options for heart valentine puns, food valentine puns, animal valentine puns, and more. . 47. Fact 7: You didn't notice I missed fact 5. 2. 3. Fact 1: You are reading this. We have gathered the best medical puns for your birthday, Valentine's day or any other card which is intended for doctors, nurses, medical students, medical residents, and others! Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder. If you're familiar with Star Wars, this phrase should sound familiar to you. Here are 35 puns that will make your day! "You make my heart beet." 3. The 117+ Best Heart Jokes - ↑UPJOKE↑ Heart Jokes Vladimir Putin suffers a heart attack amidst the Ukraine crisis, and falls into a coma. I've pollen in love with you. 4. Okay, got another pick up line in case you're snowed in at the mall. It was an I for an I. I don't want to cut my hair! ! You're stuck with me. Many of the cardio heart jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. 10. A: I can heartly wait. 8. But everyone's sharing a generous amount of love." "Okay, we're all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt." "When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee." "But, Nurse Rose I can't," replied Mr. Williams. That evening one hunter, Sam, returned to camp alone toting a 12 point buck. Someone complimented my parking today! Popsicle Puns Anything is popsicle. You steal my heart, and I'll steal yours. I lub dub you with all my heart. 31. Sudden — Spudden; Stud — Spud Cheesy pizza puns for you. Snap, crackle, pop-sicle. My thoughts are with his family. Just at that moment one of the mourners started laughing. If you wish to showcase how well you master funny dark humor jokes or puns, these are the options you could consider. But when you know a bunch of potato puns and play on words, you can make your own silly quips that will leave the crowd (or your kids) laughing at your homegrown jokes. Heart puns are the best tool to keep a situation lighthearted. You could read it as "seriously" or as "a joke didn't walk into the . **_Cheesy pizza puns for you. 3. Too bad he lost his case. I am currently in cardiology. The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!! For more ideas along these lines, see this list of love puns. Surgery Puns Going into surgery can be pretty daunting, especially for kids. 3. Some of these are downright clever too! Growing old is inevitable, but growing up is optional. 14. Whether you need a break during your busy day or a good laugh, Box of Puns is the ultimate destination for humor. 9. I'm gonna cut some grass with a pop-sickle. Heart-beet. Nothing, it just let out a little wine. Don't mess with them! Jokes can make dark moments light, jokes make awkward moments more comfortable, and jokes make love all around better. When short puns are involved, it is a bit difficult to be clever because there are only limited words. via: Pexels / William Fortunato. I'm glad I pricked you. Home is where the heart is. We hope you will find these cardiac . When someone irritates you: "I have a bone to pick with you.". So, you can share your 'controversial' pizza-with-pineapple with additional funny kick coming from the puns you attached. Butcher: "Me too." I was trying to catch some fog earlier but I mist. Pun Categories. It's totally clips of the heart. Heart Sick Pick-Up Line: Hey bae, my heart beats for you and that is why my ECG has a U wave. You're playing heart to get. We're just taking a short cut through the children's ward. Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up. Top 10 of the Funniest Heart Jokes and Puns A priest has a heart attack, and is rushed to the hospital. Ham Puns I ham what I ham! Love jokes are cracked in different ways or made in different formats, purposely, to make your audience laugh. I'm really attached to it! . Forget about the past, you can't change it. Male readers: Please scroll down. They ain't long, but they sure are clever. 7. Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas.". **_A pizza my heart belongs to you. Either way, having some of these memorized will give you a way to bring out a smile, chuckle, or groan from your friends. Why did Robert fail the medical exam when his right shoulder was X-rayed? Photo by David Em/Box of Puns. 49. You and I make an egg-cellent pair. READ ALSO: Message to send to client who ignores your text without alienating them Really dark jokes 80+ funny dark jokes and puns. Come out with your hams up! You will find most of these funny puns are food puns. "Mr. Williams," she said, "You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that. A man in a butcher shop: "I would like bull testicles please." -. Let the waves wash over you and let the sand be your seat. Heart of Stone - Chert. Prods. Michael Muglas. Stop here and continue feeling good! She just has acute angina." Adjusting his hearing aid, the husband says, "Listen here young man, don't go talking about my wife's privates like that! We're just taking a short cut through the children's ward. 2. This collection of one-line puns and jokes are so bad that they just might be good. Funny Food Puns. 12. Dad : I . A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. No joke. Research shows that 4 out of 5 vaccines are given in vein. Touch device users can explore by touch or with swipe gestures. May 2, 2021. heart attack jokes one liners. One liner tags: attitude, health, life, work. Spotted in a lonely hearts ad: "Scrabble player looking for love. She has a lifetime ban from the zoo too. 6. 4. Has GSOH" Food puns are my favorite type of puns. What did one tectonic plate say when he bumped into the other? See more ideas about puns, cute puns, love puns. A: Because she stole his heart. When the auto-complete results are available, use the up and down arrows to review and Enter to select. Q: What did the painter say to his girlfriend? EMT Chat Up Line: Sit back and relax 'cause I fix broken hearts. Following the eulogy, the heart opened and the casket rolled inside. Sure, you want to send a message from the heart (or at the very least from a little candy heart). They left a sweet note on my windshield that said "parking fine.". If you have found gifts for doctors, nurses, medical students, or other medical professionals . Peacocks are meticulous because they show attention to de-tail. It comes as a surprise, and it ties the entire joke together. 6. Animal Puns (10) Food Puns (12) Health (1) Nature (7) Tell these punny jokes about birds to your friends, family and neighborhood fowl. The Heart Attack 3. Since puns are all . Don't let scams get away with fraud. 48. Easy Drawings. The way you deliver these love puns means everything. Once you're done reading these jokes, check out our collection of Cupid Jokes, Heart Jokes and Winter Jokes. He wakes up as he's being rushed through the hospital on a gurney by two nurses. Over my Boulder - Mike and the Rockanics. Scarlett Cup of Johanssen. What does a dinosaur say to flirt a girl: "You make my heart saur, sweetheart!" 4. Here are funny hunting jokes and puns you can enjoy and laugh at. To bee or not to bee, that is the . Notice on a shoe repair shop: I'll heel you, I'll save your sole, I'll even gladly dye for you. We've gathered a bunch of puns from all over the internet that will help spud the competition. I can heartly wait to see you again. 46. Girl: Where is my boyfriend ? When you actually stop and think about it, it's super weird and legitimately creepy that we decorate for a holiday geared towards children using fake human corpses — bodies that have had enough time to decompose that their rotten flesh . ︎ 95 ︎ 6 comments ︎ u/PensionNo8124 ︎ May 13 2021 ︎ report Someone just asked me to sing any line from "Don't go breaking my heart." I couldn't if I tried. When the minister finished with the sermon and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart was opened, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed. You feta have a gouda birthday. I Love Rock 'n Coal - Stone Jett. You know, the heart is the hungriest organ. Having some pizza puns from the internet is the quickest, easiest way to have pizza-related funny quotes without making it from scratch. The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered. I got some ham me downs if you want em'. 1. 3. The guy who stole my diary just died. 5. East or west, home is best. Well maybe one thing is - a bad popsicle pun! Doc: Sounds like tacocardia. I miss my boyfriend every day, especially when I have to carry my bags up the stairs. Let's all live in ham-ony. Am I in heaven? Rocks Off - Rolling Stones. Take these coffee puns to get you through the day, and you're sure to make other people smile and laugh with them too. Photo: pexels.com, Keira Burton (modified by author) Source: UGC. This morning he had a heart attack. Potato jokes are classic, obviously. Just then one of the mourners burst into laughter. The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend." Fact 2: You can't say the letter 'm' without touching your lips. I was gonna send you a cute Perogy pun, but I was scared that'd be too cheesy. And I'm like a nasty snowstorm baby, because I've literally fallen for you. He met Nurse Rose. A regular coffin was displayed in front of a huge heart. 82.43 % / 2042 votes. Sand underneath docks is particularly resilient. The Best Dark Humor Jokes. Loving you is my Pierogi-tive. He wanted to show that his heart is in the right place. 1. No says one of the nurses. Master Your Approach. Whether you need pierogi puns for your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, crush, or bestie, these are perfect to pero-give. This joke may contain profanity. Explanation: "No joke" has a double meaning here. Enjoy! While most of these lean towards romantic Valentine's messages, the puns can easily be tweaked for a friendship/classroom setting too. It has the heartiest appetite. "I'd like a mild heart attack." Moral of the story: Women are clever. However, it is not impossible. Learn . Am I in heaven? I have always loved you from my head tomatoes. Funny Duck Puns That Will Make You Quackle June 5, 2020. Next: 60+ Funny Apple Puns that are Sweeter than the Pie. Fruit flies like a banana. Pop - What popsicles call their dads. Because he did not put his heart into it. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A friend failed his medical exam when he X-rayed his lower torso. Puns! He didn't put his heart into it. Objects of humour. He was gung hoe. When we put our two hearts together, we can't be beat. I'll never desert you. Dang, that's one ham-some piggy. My fault. Pizza Puns for Instagram Captions. A cardiac specialist died and at his funeral the coffin was placed in front of a huge mock up of a heart made up of flowers. The New Earring. The duck said to the bartender, "Put it on my bill.". I love wasa-bee with my sushi. So scroll down below, vote for the funniest, and let us know what you think! 9. Today. Don't go bacon my heart by keeping it all to yourself. Fact 10: You like this and you're going to rate or comment. Fact 9: You're smiling again. I definitely saw one two did there. 4. A pizza my heart belongs to you. Mission im-popsicle. Designer genes. Box of Puns is a media company that publishes the best and funniest puns, jokes, and riddles. A friend failed his medical exam when he X-rayed his lower torso. 11. These anatomy puns can really make you feel laugh as a medical student: 1. After surgery the girl wakes up and finds her father sitting in the chair. I can heart-ly wait. 2. Pinterest. Published: June 8, 2022 Categorized as: st louis contests and giveaways . I can't understand you because you're a mumble-bee. Doodle Art. Valentine Jokes for Kids Here is how to pick the best love puns: 1. Paul Brewman. This week's puns and one liners take the form of Heart Jokes. Hamn, more ham puns? May the fourth be with you! A. I lava you with all my heart. When we put our two hearts together, we can't be beat. "Please don't go away, we be-lung together", said the pulmonologist while confessing his love. A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house! A few years later, he wakes up, gets back on his feet and walks out of his room, right past the sleeping guard. They cell-ebrate! Pitcher perfect. You and I make a great Pair-ogi. Q: Why did they put the boy's girlfriend in jail? 2. You have a pizza my heart. In other words, there's snow place like home. You hold the Piero-key to my heart. 44 Hilarious Heart Puns - Punstoppable Heart Puns Doc, every time I smell Mexican food my heart races. I am over 18. 1. My dad is the most dad jokingest person on earth. Honey! asks the disoriented priest. Fact 4: You're smiling. May 27, 2021 - For all my 'Punny' friends XD. Dad: Don't you know who gave you your new heart. Loving you is a piece of cake. 1 line dad jokes 1 line puns 1 liner joke of the day 1 liner jokes 1 liners 10 best one liners 100 best one liners 100 funny quotes and one liners 1000 short funny jokes 101 best one liners 1950's one liners . . The doctor says, "Your wife did not have a heart attack. As the owner's mechanic fetches the car, the owner gets to talking with the doctor and says, "You know, engine repair is a lot like open-heart surgery.""How so?""Well, it's the 'heart' of the machine. If you're with a guy that can't appreciate a good fruit joke, then it's time to let that mango. He didn't put his heart into it. 22. An older man took his wife to the hospital, fearing a heart attack The man waits for a while and the doctor comes out to tell his findings. Related 5. 10. February 13, 2020. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Suits . It's off the c-hearts. 7. I wanna hold your ham. Nothing is im-popsicle! One could even say that the punchline is the beating heart of any joke. Between all the confetti, balloons . When jokes go too far, are . 2. 69 Fruit Puns & Jokes That Are Just Peachy! Girl: I love you. Fact 6: You're smiling or laughing again. Potato Puns. One liner tags: age, death, doctor, health. There are some cardiac trafficker jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. 53 Funny Deer Puns & Jokes That You Won't Believe May 3, 2021. What did one volcano say to the other on Valentine's Day? 10.7.2021. vitapix/Getty Images. #1.